Day 10: I DID IT!!!! Thanks for your support!

TODAY, I AM MADE OF PURE AWESOMENESS.

I woke up at 6 am.  I didn't have to - I don't have anything on my agenda until 2:30 when I'm scheduled to go into work.  In fact, there have been numerous mornings when I've ambitiously set my alarm for 6 am, hoping to get a bright and early start on my day, only to slap the "dismiss" button on my phone and roll over to go back to sleep.

I am the queen of sleeping in.  If I have to be at work at 8:45 am, I've been known to sleep till 8:20, dress in ten minutes, drive to work and then rush into the building breathless just to punch in under the deadline.

However, I woke up at 6 am today.  In fact, I woke up at 5:58 before my alarm ever went off.  Even after I went to sleep around 2 am this morning.  In other words, this is such a rare occurrence that someone should alert the media.  This may, in fact, be the first sign of the coming apocalypse, but I digress.

So, I woke up at 6 am and headed over to my computer where I began to develop an exercise playlist.  I went through my entire Spotify Library and chose those that I felt would be best for me to walk to.  The songs were chosen based on two factors:  #1) the beat and #2) how they made me feel. 

The beat is incredibly important, as it is human nature to somehow pace yourself to the rhythm you are listening to.  Therefore, I stayed away from anything that was slow, going with songs that were faster in tempo so that I would really get my heart pumping.  Sadly, that meant leaving off a few songs that are phenomenal - although Bohemian Rhapsody is pure brilliance, the beginning tempo is simply too slow for an adequate pace.  My playlist is ecclectic:  I have songs that energize me ("Cotton Eyed Joe"), songs that make me wanna party ("Dynamite"), songs that remind me of good times with friends ("Raise Your Glass"), songs that make me feel Retro ("Blitzkrieg Bop") and Old Skool ("Pump Up The Jam"), songs that make me feel sexy ("When I Grow Up") and most importantly, songs that make me feel like I'm walking away from a buiding full of bad guys that I just blew up ("Super Massive Black Hole").

My playlist is perfect.

As I waited for the songs to load, I did a quick google search and read about the best ways to boost my metabolism.  Eat before or after a work-out?  A small meal 1-2 hours before is best, the article advice, suggesting something like a whole grain cereal. I already knew to drink plenty of fluids, but the article also advised that it was best to have a small snack within the hour after a work out as well.  So, after enjoying some corn flakes with skim milk, I prepared a large jug of ice water, some vitamin water and a 100 cal pack of almonds for after my walk.

I was dressed in lightweight, loose-fitting clothes with my work boots (which just happen to be comfortable, stable and offer extra support for my weak, damaged ankles) and my trademark ponytail.  I opened up the Cardio Trainer app on my phone, grabbed my keys and my inhaler and set out for my walk by 7:50 am.

You can imagine my aggravation when I had to stop three houses down because I couldn't seem to get my exercise playlist to open.  Unfortunately, it would seem that I had not properly synced my phone with Spotify, so the list I had so excitedly prepared was not yet available.  Determined NOT to waste any time by going back home to fix the playlist, I opened up Pandora and hoped for a great playlist before heading for the park behind my house.

It wasn't the kick-ass music I was hoping for, but Pandora did the trick and I passed the five minute mark with ease (versus gasping for air like I did on my last walk).  When Pandora played "Numb" by Linkin Park, it was like a pure shot of Adrenaline.  Not only was I comfortably haulin' ass, but man...I was doing it with ATTITUDE!  The hips were swaying, the shoulders were movin'...I WAS FREAKING PUMPED!  It was at this point that the Cardio Trainer advised that I was keeping a pace of 4 mph.  FOUR MILES PER HOUR!  I tested my breathing and my heartrate, but I was feeling FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC!  The playlist never got that good again, but that little boost did wonders for my stamina as I reached the mile mark only 19 minutes into my walk.

At 22 minutes, I lapped my previous walk with 8 minutes to spare, so I added in a little more of the lap.  With the added distance, I wasn't sure if I would make it back home at the 30 minute mark, but with thunder sounding in the distance, I only hoped I'd beat the rain.

At 30 minutes, 43 seconds, I walked into my house.  I was breathing heavily, but it was under my control with no assistance from an asthma inhaler.  My legs were burning but - quite surprisingly - muscles I wasn't even aware I HAD in my lower stomach were quite tense from the walk.  I'm sure it's a good thing that they were getting worked out in the long run - but I'm not entirely sure if that means I was doing something wrong.  I've never heard of the abs getting worked out while walking.  Will have to look into that.

Anyways, according to the Cardio-Trainer app on my phone, here are my stats:

Distance: 1.56 miles
Average Speed: 3.0 mph
Calories Burned: 316
Steps: 2,513
Time: 30:43

Booyah Eve! Mother Nature can suck it! lol

I've been home for an hour and a half now - I've finished my almonds and I'm chugging the remnants of my Vitamin Water as I finally begin to come down from the high.  Yet, I find myself anxious to do it all again...even wondering if it would be too much to try to fit in another walk before work this afternoon. 

Eh, it's probably best not to do too much too quicky.  Gotta "pace yourself" and all that jazz.

I'm not an overtly religious person.  I believe in God and I have a personal, yet private relationship with him that I don't discuss very often.  However, I've been keeping in touch with him more often this past week.  It's entirely selfish, I know...but I just keep praying that whatever has been working for me these past ten days will keep up until I get to where I need to be.  I think of all the times I've started this in the past...all the failures...all of the weight I've gained as a result of those failures.  Yet, there is something that just feels different this time around; something that doesn't feel forced or temporary.

There are certain things in life that one simply can not explain to another.  How do you know when you've finally grown from a boy into a man?  How do you know when you're in love?  How do you know when something is right?

For these questions, the best answer we will ever recieve is: "You just know."

Maybe the difference this time around for me is that I've finally made my mind up to do this.  No outs.  No excuses.  No hiding who I am, what I am and how I got here, and no lying to myself about how very difficult it will be to undo the damage I've done.  No failing in private and soothing my guilt or remorse by adding more layers to the fat.  No giving up the first time I stumble or fall.

If you're reading this...if you're following me, or challenging me, or encouragine me...please stay with me.  It's sad that I can't do this all on my own, I know, but I'm so very scared that this will all fall apart if I lose you.  So, maybe it's me, and maybe it's you.  But something is very different and it just feels right this time.

Dear God, please let it be right this time.