Day 14: Excuses, Excuses

I really have not been getting enough sleep.  Between working late one night and then having to come in early the next, staying up late because I'm so excited I just HAVE to blog and then setting my alarm for an absurdly early morning walk - I have not gotten much sleep the past four days.  In addition, my nose is stuffy from allergies and the nose spray is only giving me relief for a few hours at a time right now, which means that I am not breathign very well during the little bit of sleep I been getting.  As much as I want to believe that these are reasons, they are not; they are excuses - one of those things that I really need to work on.

For example, I woke up at 5 am today for my sunrise walk.  I ate oatmeal to carb-load before my exercise, prepared my after-walk snack (almonds for protein and vitamin water for electrolytes.) and then went to get my phone which...was dead.  Why was it dead?  I do not know - I'd had the mofo charging all freaking night as usual.  But, sure enough, as soon as I unplugged it from my computer, it shut off.  I knew I would not have enough time to charge it, go for my walk, recharge it, take my shower and get ready for work.  So, I plugged it back in and went back to sleep because I don't feel comfortable going out for a walk by myself (with my asthma) in an unopened park before the sun is officially up in the sky without having a phone on me.

Could I have taken my mom's phone?  I'm sure she would have let me, but that didn't cross my tired mind at 5:30 this morning.  Partly because it is hard enough to get up at the butt crack of dawn, eat breakfast when you'd rather be sleeping and then go exercise - it takes 200% motivation and determination to get my fat ass on that track in the morning and anything that goes wrong with the plan just becomes the straw that breaks the fat, lazy camel's back.  It's another excuse. 

I keep hoping I'll run out of those soon.

On the other hand, I was ecstatic when I found a way to get some much needed exercise at work.  As I've mentioned before, I work in a store.  Though I am mostly cashiering right now, I actually do a lot of odd, random jobs.  This morning, our "Cart Boy" was late for work, so I eagerly offered to do carts for a little while.  Everyone was surprised and my manager began to tell me that he thought it was too hot for me (given my size and asthma), but I begged.  So, for about 30 minutes, I corraled carts in the hot Florida heat, collecting them five at a time and walking them from the parking lot into the store where they were needed.

If my butt and thighs have anything to say about it, that has to count for something.

After work, I ran errands with a friend who is preparing for her birthday party this Saturday.  By the time I got home, it was late, I was tired and hungry and I had not prepared for my dinner, but my mother chipperly added that she had dinner waiting for me:  Country Fried Steak with country sausage gravy, mashed potatos and corn.

Three weeks ago, I would have told her that sounded incredible, then I would have eaten a very large portion and asked her if she was going to finish her plate too.  Instead, I told her that I wasn't sure I'd be able to eat it, but that I would look it up.  I went to my room, logged into myfitnesspal.com and calculated how eating the dinner she had prepared would affect my nutritional goals for the day.  Luckily, I did so well for breakfast and lunch that I could eat a healthy portion of what she had prepared and still come in under my goal for the day.

By the time I came out of my room and returned to the kitchen, my mom had put the food away, believing that I had gone to my room because  was upset.  She cleaned everything up quickly so that I wouldn't have to worry about resisting the temptation.  I thanked her again for making it and explained my calculations and she reminded me how very proud she is of me and telling me that she knows how hard it is to do what I'm doing.  All in all, it was a good dinner but a greater mom.  :o)

Alrighty all - I've finished my blogging for the day, I've prepared my food, work out clothes and alarms for tomorrow, I've found a better charger for my phone and all before 11 pm, so I think I'm going to take advantage and try to get some sleep.  The game plan for tomorrow is to once again wake up at 5 am and eat breakfast so that I can make it out onto the track just in time for daylight.  I've got my nosespray in one hand and my blanket in the other and I'm praying that tomorrow is an excuse free day.

Oh, how could I forget - TOMORROW MORNING IS WEIGH IN!  I'm trying to be realistic and remind myself that any loss is a good loss, so I shouldn't expect too much - yet I can't help but feel that the numbers are going to look good.  Can't wait - the suspense is killing me!