Soo, I seem to be a little behind. Last night, although I had eaten frequently throughout the day and had covered all the necessities (vitamins, healthy fats, proteins, fruits, veggies, etc), I found myself more than 1,000 calories UNDER my recommended calories for the day. Now, if you've been following my blog, then you know that I explained previously that bigger people burn more calories at a resting rate - therefore, we have a higher caloric goal when we begin losing weight. blah, blah, blah, whatever.
So, there I was around 10:30 at night. I've done my sunrise walk, I've managed my nutritional intake phenomenally, I've burn A LOT more calories by busting my butt during a double-shift at work (8:45 am to 10:00 pm), I'm not hungry and yet, I have an extra 1,000+ calories for the taking.
I decide that it's time for a little calculated treat.
I swear, it was like manna from heaven!
I woke up at 5 am this morning with the intentions of getting out for my morning walk earlier than I have been. I was aiming to be walking when it was daylight out, but before the sun had actually risen over the horizon. I figured it would be cooler then and I wouldn't have to worry about walking with the sun in my eyes. Unfortunately, I passed out minutes after turning off my alarm. I woke up again around 8 am and went downstairs for some breakfast, only to fall back to sleep sitting up the moment I put my bowl down. A little after 10 am, I woke up for the third time because I was having trouble breathing. There was this terrible chemical smell filling my house and taking my breath away. Turns out that my neighbor was having his roof done and the tar in his driveway was infiltrating our home (I live in a townhouse.) Having difficulty breathing while sitting still...and still struggling to keep my eyes open for more than five minutes at a time...I forewent my walk this morning.
I am mad at myself now, of course, for accepting these excuses. Now, the week has ended and I only managed to fit in an hour of concentrated exercise. I did my best to make up for it at work - did knee bends at my register while waiting for customers - made a point to unload their carts for them whenever possible for some "resistance training"...when I had to cover the lunch for another department, I walked laps around the area while waiting for customers. It wasn't much...and it wasn't enough....than it was better than nothing.
Sadly, as good as my chocolate dipped McDonald's ice cream cone was last, I find that it's made my craving worse today. I came in under my caloric goal - but just by a couple of hundred calories. Im under my fat intake for the day, but overdid it on the carbs. :o( No time for regrets and feeling bad - just have to do better tomorrow. Knowing what a splurge can do to my will power though will definitely make me think twice before I treat myself again.
Now, you're beloved ChuChi is looking for some feedback. During my break at work, I decided to make a "Fat Bucket List". Basically, as the fat period of my life comes to an end, there are certain milestones that I can't wait to reach. Some are things that I have never felt comfortable doing because of my life-long battle with weight. Some are things that I was able to do at one point, but haven't been able to for a while. Some are actual physical milestones, others are emotional or reminiscent. So below, I will share with you my current "Fat Bucket List". As you read it, I'd like you to think of anything I can possibly add. If you are overweight and have always struggled, what are the things in your life that you've put on hold for the day that you were thinner? If you used to be thin but have gained weight, what parts of your "skinny" life do you miss and would like to do again? Or, if you've lost weight, but things do you enjoy doing now that you missed out on as a heavier person? If I can keep with this, there are so very many joyous things coming up for me that I want to enjoy - help me appreciate the journey I'm taking.
ChuChi's Fat Bucket List
- Feel good wearing:
- A pair of shorts
- A skirt
- A dress
- A sleeveless shirt
- A bathing suit.
- Fit comfortably on a small bench or the backseat of a car with my friends.
- Enjoy a total "Beach Day", complete with beach outfit, bathing suit, friends and swimming in the ocean.
- Go clothes shopping with my girl friends and enjoy it!
- Stop snoring/No longer need my C-Pap Machine.
- Share a bed with a friend without fearing that I am taking up too much space.
- Wear a cute belt. (With a shirt short enough that others can see it!)
- Have a comfortable plane ride without:
- Worrying that the airline might charge me for an extra seat.
- Feeling bad for the people next to me because I am taking up too much space.
- Having to request a seat belt extension.
- Eat with others without feeling self concious.
- Be able to walk and talk at the same time (Right now, I'm breathing too heavy to hold a convo)
- Buy a cute outfit that I saw on a mannequin.
- Swap/Share clothes with a friend.
- Learn how to make a healthy smoothie.
- Master a tasty, healthy dish that I can bring to pot-luck gatherings.
- Go dancing in a cute outfit with my friends and TOTALLY enjoy it!
- Sit comfortable beside friends or family:
- In a movie theater. (Right now, I skip a seat from them to have room)
- At a play or concert. (The last few have been so tight and uncomfortable, it was hard to focus on the performance)
- Get whistled at. (And not by a friend or family member who is just trying to make me feel good.)
- Feel good in lingerie.
- Take a sexy picture...and look/feel sexy in it!
- (Intimate goal. :oP )
- Fit into average size jewelery. (non-stretchy ring, bracelet or necklace)
- Wear some type of clothing that is "One Size Fits All"
- Find an AWESOME PAIR of tall (mid-calf to thigh-high) boots that fit and look AMAZING!
- Ultimately - Wear a size 12.
One thing that I have learned is that I have to do things, no matter my weight. I love to kayak. However, what a pain in the ass to get in the boat, but I still do it because I love it. I can't wait till it's EASIER to get in the boat. :D
ReplyDeleteYou are doing great! I love the fact that you find alternative ways to exercise! Definitely make sure to get the calories you need, though, so the craving doesn't overpower you. It's really fun watching your journey!
Thanks Spunky! Kayaking sounds like fun, but I would definitely need to wait till I was in better shape. NOT "skinny"...just healthier. :o)
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